v.v. on attention

What would you do in such a case, the young woman asked. Nothing, said the nerd, I would do nothing about it. Except, maybe, make a break and work things through the way you prefer to do it. You could certainly go and blame that man. You could try to sue him. But what would happen? They would hunt him down in your name. What would that do to you? They would say, you're the victim. They will make him the victim of their hunt in front of your own eyes. You will see him suffer - and therefore, you will suffer. As you are a compassionate human, in general. All the more they will try to coerce you to behave as befits a victim. Would you want that? Certainly not. The entire setting would only heap more and more guilt on your back, on the long run. You'll never escape. That's why they immediately killed raped girls in earlier times. These had no chance in archaic societies. They still don't have in societies of that kind today. We may hope to be better off these days, here, in Berlin. But the blanket is still very thin. So: You better be silent. Talk only to folks you can really trust. Maybe to nobody, about certain questions. Be gracious, generous, calm, and cool. That is the only way to keep at least those tiny little threads of your life in your own hands that we may hold in our own female hands: here, in our societies, today. And how long? We've known a lot about moves backwards, haven't we. Tell your own story your own way, if so you wish. Make use of it, some kind of use, your way. But which way soever that may be: Make sure that there remains an "I"-saying active subject. You. Do your own thing, follow your own path, be proud of the things you've achieved already, and walk on. They cry, they want to find out, they press? Don't even laugh at them. Ignore those idiots, who try to glory in your achievements as if they were theirs. This does not mean that you must needs remain helpless under the feet of your abusers or exploiters. The opposite. You just make sure that you are the one who still holds the origins of her achievements. You make sure that you are the one who still rules, in what situation soever, concerning your own life, and maybe, sometimes, beyond. If necessary: Confront your enemies, real enemies you even sue - but avoid them, if you can. A lady will walk, but never run. This comes with a price: for them. Why so? The lady will NEVER be available for people who don't deserve it. And she IS the only one to decide who deserves it and who doesn't.  If she decides that someone despised by others IS actually worth her attention: she will give it. Just so. Without further comment. Where you feel like that - let go. Sometimes. Not too often. But where YOU decide to NOT be available: you are not. No campaigning, no sanctions will change your mind. No plans designed by others will convince you. Everything is fine with that. Wave them good-bye with a smile.