g.

"So, what do you actually believe," asked the man, and he tried to be so neutrally interested. Somehow, the nerd was not as quick as she would have loved to be, or it was because she found it boring to repeat over and over again what must needs to be repeated. But still it has to be said: In a time, in which - again, and "nach alles" - it can be of real importance over your life, liberty and well-being, how you answer this question, there is only one possible answer to it: "You must not ask this question." That was what she should have said. But, deceived by the so very "neutral" place, or just tired, she said something elusive instead. Next day she thought she should have said: "Why don't you just ask me about the colour of my pubic hair?"Or:"Why don't you tell me something about your bank-account first?"

f. tango

Tango is so NOT my glass of wine, said the nerd, yawning, but if you tell me about a nice little jazz concert, that could be good.

e.

The civilizational competence of "the others" as well as "my own" reaches as far as the respective right to self-governance. If people behave in a civilized manner although the others do not allow for their autonomy, they are at best martyrs for the sake of their own self-esteem. What if they decide to refuse to suffer? A lot of the bad politics in the Middle East, a lot of gender trouble and other things, is about this central issue. To the strong and powerful in the world this means: If you want civilized neighbors, don't try to be wiser than they are by "knowing their real motives", for instance, but take their offers of civilized dealings seriously. "They have to prove maturity first", however, is a good sentence to begin a spin of escalation you won't be able to control in the end.